Chasing Wisdom

I just heard your conffession,
What a bitter pill to swallow,
Spiraling towards depression,
At a rate faster than full throttle,
Maybe I will learn a lesson,
At the bottom of a bottle.

I Hate You,
Louis

Change

Panicing, flipping out,
Mind franticly races,
For any traces of hope,
Nope,
Yet limbs maintain the pace,
to chase escape by gripping about.

Rapid, shallow breaths,
Unable to be at ease,
On the eve of demise,
Making pleas to the Divine
Landing on ears still deaf,
Rescue denied.
Submerged in the unexpected unknown,
Destined to remain here till death.

The darkness consumes me,
I in turn consume the darkness,
Lungs filled with the psuedo fluid.
I feel my self changing
Kicking reflexivly,
I am one with my tomb.
Soon, exchanging this existance for a new one
Emerging from its womb.

Misunderstood

I know i have not been,
what has come to be expected,
I have been rather distant,
and that may have you feeling neglected,
and the way I truly feel,
is not properly reflected.

- Boo ya,
Louis

His Love

I wonder to myself,
Why he doesn't love me?
I placed him up on a pedestal,
Oblivious he is that he is above me.

I try to meet his every need,
Yet abhorrently, he is ignoring me,
I keep thinking with every deed,
He is a step closer to adoring me.

I try for his attention,
Try to buy his affection,
Long ago he promised me his love,
But he lied to me,
All I wanted from him,
All along was denied to me,
Images of that smug face,
Haunted me, and taunted me defiantly.

Despite that I feel,
this anger, this rage.
I love him after all,
IT conquers all,
I am turning the page.

I'm here expecting respect,
No I am not going to hide,
For a moment our glances met in the mirror,
But quickly his adverted to the side.
In that instant from my view,
He has too much pride,
To admit what he knew,
We need to be level,
united, honest and true.
He is ready to work with me for the better,
And he is sorry That he acted like he was above me,
He admits we need to move on together,
I just need to make sure he loves me.

- Respectfully,
Louis

Causality

I should have listened to what you are saying,
When originally it was said.
Instead,
I am constantly displaying,
Probable possibilities in my head.
I have the expectation,
That my anticipation,
Would aid the identification of flaws.
I am confident, this feat is,
Worthy to be greeted, by applause.

Yet even as I write this,
My perfect mental process proceeds to think things through.
Second guessing second guesses, validating my fears.
It appears,
Some inner reflection was overdue.
I am no where nears,
What I originally set out to do.
I treated the past when it was present with neglect,
Preparing to handle unwanted futures without pause.
In my vain attempt to prevent Effect,
I myself became the Cause.

- LA Kellam

Mirrors

The mirrors are alive,
They misbehave,
They are always hungry,
They laugh when I shave.

They like to be kissed,
They love to fight,
They fear thunder,
And the dark of night.

They are curious creatures,
They learn as fast as I teach,
I have to watch my mouth around them,
Since they can reflect speech

Sometimes I watch them sleep,
And wonder how it will be when they are grown,
When they have absorbed all that I have,
And they have mirrors of their own.

-Louis

Withdrawal

Withdrawal from Your love has been painful,
Oh how I crave your kiss, your hug.
I am physically frustrated,
Evidenced apparently on my mug,
to go along with my excessively nervous actions.
Yet I may think I know the bug,
I know not any vices,
That surpasses your love as my choice of drug.

- Louis

*Drops the mic
*Walks away

Abandoned by Creativity

It feels like an eternity,
Yet it was just the other day.
I tried to spend the time without you,
By coming up with sweet things to say.
But I am confused without my Muse,
And I failed, much to my dismay.
If I was going to light this fuse,
I was going to need another way,
To get the creative juices flowing,
To get the ball rolling, as they say,
Yet indeed, I must concede,
To proceed, we need another way,
Like a desert draught, few plants can sprout,
I doubt, I can create without you, another day.

First

I think alot of thoughts. And sometimes those thoughts grow in to other, much larger thoughts. Sometimes they grow so huge the very thought of writting that thought down on paper becomes such a daunting task I cant bring my self to think about doing it. I think this will help me break free of this bad habit. I think

Any how welcome to the inner workings of my mind.

XOXO
Louis