I believe love should be simple

I believe love should be simple,
I do not need any of the perceived complexity,
The hardest thing about it,
Is that you aren't next to me.
I have no one to lean on,
no one to confess to,
No way to decompress,
When life gets too stressful.
When i'm already pessimistic,
and my half empty  cup's even less full
Life and drama combine,
trying to test my mettle,
Blurring clearly defined, fine lines,
trying stress my mental,
Hopping the challenge I would decline,
And defeated I would just settle.
"The One", "Soulmate", "True Love",
Is what I thought others have been,
Whats past has passed so the above,
I consider them has beens.
I'm not looking for a substitute mom,
a undercover dom or a sycophant,
I just want to be treated with respect,
and expect to feel significant.
Magnificent and far fetched it would seem,
even as a dream to a dreamer dreaming with in a dream.
A way to turn reality, from fantasy
There must be.
It is essential, I am not loved for potential,
by someone who "gets" me,
I am tired of falling short of the "best" me,
I should be worthy of love
By being just me

BY
LA Kellam

Why I Write? (Carmen's Poem)

Sometimes I need to be inspired,
sometimes I need to be moved,
sometimes I am doubted,
and my talent must be proved.
Sometimes I write about love,
sometimes about of the journey of the dead,
sometimes I am just providing a soapbox,
for one of the voices in my head.
Sometimes the words come so easy,
sometimes the creativity runs dry,
sometimes I write to make people laugh,

sometimes to make them cry,

sometimes I hate what I'm writing,

and wonder why I even try.

But thats when I realize,

Every time I write, Its for me,

And honestly that is why.

By LA Kellam

Soulmate

As of late, Soulmate
there is a debate if you exist.
I too am about, to doubt,
without the presence of your kiss.
Barely manageable, without tangible,
affection.
Hurt with disgrace, cause I chose to place,
vulnerabilities without protection.
Blame for my shame,
should be directed in my direction.
For I have grown impatient,
Or perhaps you are late,
Or perhaps we will never know,
And perhaps that's just our fate.

By LA Kellam

Hunger by the Numbers

I am a Seven and your a Six
I am sure you remember the rhyme
Why is Six afraid of Seven?
 'cause Seven Eight Nine.
Why should you beware
this appetite of mine?
'caue when I tilt my head to the side
you resemble an upside down Nine

LAKellam

Back on Track

First it was a hopeful dream,
at the root spawned by lust.
Then out the blue you reapeared,
now there's a chance for us.
Our meeting was not by chance, 
without a choice,  it was a must.
Without you I admit fits get to me,
But its destiny, and in it I trust.

LA Kellam

Art

Use your mind,
To look at your heart,
then you express what you find,
What you found  is called art

The End of Winter Approaches Ever so Near

The end of winter approaches ever so near,
I look around at those gathered around me,
The brave faces portrayed betrayed by a tear,
I ponder the thoughts from which it did flee.
Wet eyes now glimmer in this dimmer room
Shiver as its too cold to be warmed by loving affection,
I assume soon to be withdrawn from the fated loom,
Heavy eyes provide time for critical introspection
Everything I received, I believed I earned
And I enjoyed the games I did play,
I have more to share from lessons learned,
So much unsaid I still have left say.
The past is passed, surrounded by loved ones I did not fail,
Smile on my face, as for the last time I exhale.

LA Kellam

Offering

Life flows, bushes of  rose
blossom above.
Deceiving eyes?Before me lies,
your altar of love.
It must be, you found worthy,
characteristics of my character.
Silent prayer through lips, finger tips,
caress the lavender.
Well versed in rituals rehearsed through infinity.
Immersed in spiritual rapture captured through Divinity.

LA Kellam

For Shame

Taking a chance, entranced,
by your look and scent,
My attention, drawn in the direction
that you went.
Lonliness tested and bested
my mettle,
Having lost hope, I decided to cope
and just settle.
Careful not to reveal that I feel
so relieved,
or am I?
I've been treated so wrong for so long
been deceived.
I can't believe, I finally receive
The woman for which I was hopin'
And now that she is here,  I fear,
My heart is too calloused to be open

LA Kellam

Why I Still Cry

I don't know why I write this
or why evenI bother,
But I hope some how this note
will one day reach my father.
I am not mad at you,
I want you to understand,
the past is the past,
it helped make me who I am.
I still can't over look, the fact that
is rarely ever spoken
When I see father - son moments,
I get heart broken,
as tears water up and tears stream
from each eye.
It is clear to those near, your the reason
that I still cry.

LA Kellam

Image Thats Reflected

It is obvious to me, and those around
you're conflicted.
Singing a sad tune, licking wounds,
self inflicted.
For raising the bar, though we are,
bountifully gifted.
I implore you to demand more,
your chin fully lifted.

Self doubt will try to clutter the mind,
as we begin to leave
Friends and peers and foes behind
as we begin to achieve.
We never took into concideration, any expectation
for us to win.
We suceeded thus far, cause of the stars,
we are with in.
You are right, in your plight,
to not let complacency set in.

In the end, my friend ,
all that can be expected,
Is that when you do what you do, you stay true,
to the image thats reflected.

LA Kellam

untitled

Love of my life, word is bond,
God my witness,
never felt an emotional bond of this depth,
with such quickness.

Superb curves,
define the outline of her thickness,
I owe her all I am, as she fights,
for me to achieve heights limitless

For you,
LA Kellam

Escape the Monotony

The tick tock
of the clock
can you spot that its mocking me
slowing to a near stop
I'm in shock
it seems I'm the oddity
My peers
it appears
are unaware of this novelty.
The dissonance,
of this silence
has increased levels audibly.
There is a window near,
The day is clear.
Weather is perfect and all flawlessy
I open the window with ease,
I see swaying trees
Closing my eyes as I feel the breeze
relaxing a bit at the knees,
the wind does increase,
never felt so free,
More is sought,
indoors i am determined not to have my day spent,
was the thought
before I opened those eyes of mine in time to see the pavement.

By LA Kellam

Magic Mirror

Mirror mirror on my desk,
Reflecting the real me,
A vision worthy,
Of lofty expectations.
excitability of the ability to start over
on equal ground.
Exponential, Potential essential-
ly lying around.

Mirror mirror on my lap,
I can not wait,
Show ME again,
At least the way i wish I was.
Enchanted within your clutching grasp upon
me and my peers focus here while other pastimes die
in our hearts we enjoy this bliss dismissing
how fast time flies.

Oh family family do not dispair,
I love you
But am I not also allowed
To love my self.
I have tried to share this gift with you
so you too can experience what I feel
The eyes see what the heart desires
Inspires the mind to new views of what is real.

By
LA Kellam

Chasing Wisdom

I just heard your conffession,
What a bitter pill to swallow,
Spiraling towards depression,
At a rate faster than full throttle,
Maybe I will learn a lesson,
At the bottom of a bottle.

I Hate You,
Louis

Change

Panicing, flipping out,
Mind franticly races,
For any traces of hope,
Nope,
Yet limbs maintain the pace,
to chase escape by gripping about.

Rapid, shallow breaths,
Unable to be at ease,
On the eve of demise,
Making pleas to the Divine
Landing on ears still deaf,
Rescue denied.
Submerged in the unexpected unknown,
Destined to remain here till death.

The darkness consumes me,
I in turn consume the darkness,
Lungs filled with the psuedo fluid.
I feel my self changing
Kicking reflexivly,
I am one with my tomb.
Soon, exchanging this existance for a new one
Emerging from its womb.

Misunderstood

I know i have not been,
what has come to be expected,
I have been rather distant,
and that may have you feeling neglected,
and the way I truly feel,
is not properly reflected.

- Boo ya,
Louis

His Love

I wonder to myself,
Why he doesn't love me?
I placed him up on a pedestal,
Oblivious he is that he is above me.

I try to meet his every need,
Yet abhorrently, he is ignoring me,
I keep thinking with every deed,
He is a step closer to adoring me.

I try for his attention,
Try to buy his affection,
Long ago he promised me his love,
But he lied to me,
All I wanted from him,
All along was denied to me,
Images of that smug face,
Haunted me, and taunted me defiantly.

Despite that I feel,
this anger, this rage.
I love him after all,
IT conquers all,
I am turning the page.

I'm here expecting respect,
No I am not going to hide,
For a moment our glances met in the mirror,
But quickly his adverted to the side.
In that instant from my view,
He has too much pride,
To admit what he knew,
We need to be level,
united, honest and true.
He is ready to work with me for the better,
And he is sorry That he acted like he was above me,
He admits we need to move on together,
I just need to make sure he loves me.

- Respectfully,
Louis

Causality

I should have listened to what you are saying,
When originally it was said.
Instead,
I am constantly displaying,
Probable possibilities in my head.
I have the expectation,
That my anticipation,
Would aid the identification of flaws.
I am confident, this feat is,
Worthy to be greeted, by applause.

Yet even as I write this,
My perfect mental process proceeds to think things through.
Second guessing second guesses, validating my fears.
It appears,
Some inner reflection was overdue.
I am no where nears,
What I originally set out to do.
I treated the past when it was present with neglect,
Preparing to handle unwanted futures without pause.
In my vain attempt to prevent Effect,
I myself became the Cause.

- LA Kellam

Mirrors

The mirrors are alive,
They misbehave,
They are always hungry,
They laugh when I shave.

They like to be kissed,
They love to fight,
They fear thunder,
And the dark of night.

They are curious creatures,
They learn as fast as I teach,
I have to watch my mouth around them,
Since they can reflect speech

Sometimes I watch them sleep,
And wonder how it will be when they are grown,
When they have absorbed all that I have,
And they have mirrors of their own.

-Louis